I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize