I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Floor bacon is actually really good
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
