I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
