What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
