I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
