Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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