Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
