You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
