Where did you get a picture of my penis
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
