If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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