Me too!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
