She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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