Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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