GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
