y did u give ur computer a hand job?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
