I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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