Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
