well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
