It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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