I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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