i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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