The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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