I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
