with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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