I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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