Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
