My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They took my balls.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I party with great urgency now.
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