just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
