It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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