Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
