I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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