ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
