Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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