The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
