let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
