So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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