my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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