well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
