I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
3 2 1 whiskey
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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