i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
