My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
