i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
