In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
