please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
