Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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