GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
