What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
