Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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