I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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