You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
