Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
