you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Alive.
So much puke
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
