I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
