We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
