i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
