you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha