At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.