Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

Thats something to write home to mom about

(305): View more from Florida

Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her

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(786): Thats something to write home to mom about (305): Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her http://tfl.nu/y6ih

Replies (17) Good night (1691) Bad night (486)
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(802): View more from Vermont

PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

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(802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know. http://tfl.nu/g6tj

Replies (13) Good night (3854) Bad night (678)
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(516): View more from New York

There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.

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(516): There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office. http://tfl.nu/aczu

Replies (16) Good night (3681) Bad night (585)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

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(570): I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob http://tfl.nu/rxex

Replies (22) Good night (961) Bad night (11643)
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(708): View more from Illinois

So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

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(708): So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive. http://tfl.nu/w5b0

Replies (22) Good night (3197) Bad night (5746)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.

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(970): I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more. http://tfl.nu/19ra

Replies (3) Good night (2700) Bad night (810)
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(718): View more from New York

i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..

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(718): i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share.. http://tfl.nu/5uhy

Replies (11) Good night (3555) Bad night (1097)
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(513): View more from Ohio

walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am

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(513): walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am http://tfl.nu/e35n

Replies (13) Good night (3609) Bad night (892)
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(516): View more from New York

good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.

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(516): good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top. http://tfl.nu/vbez

Replies (19) Good night (4988) Bad night (1084)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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(612): i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore. http://tfl.nu/6de5

Replies (14) Good night (3691) Bad night (765)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol

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(910): can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol http://tfl.nu/846v

Replies (5) Good night (2195) Bad night (1172)
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(206): View more from Washington

Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.

(206): View more from Washington

Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.

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(206): Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack. (1-206): Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on. (206): Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together. http://tfl.nu/xcw6

Replies (11) Good night (2152) Bad night (464)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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(402): Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night? http://tfl.nu/skph

Replies (9) Good night (1957) Bad night (360)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.

(281): View more from Texas

i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.

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(832): i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice. (281): i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building. http://tfl.nu/bxit

Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (362)
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(208): View more from Idaho

God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight

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(208): God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight http://tfl.nu/fm83

Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (243)

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