Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with. http://tfl.nu/j18n
  Replies (13) Good night (1945) Bad night (3404)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader. http://tfl.nu/8khu
  Replies (13) Good night (3923) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it http://tfl.nu/pj49
  Replies (28) Good night (772) Bad night (3910)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub http://tfl.nu/rmdg
  Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (5825)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t
  Replies (76) Good night (9970) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness... http://tfl.nu/ikgx
  Replies (21) Good night (1145) Bad night (5757)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins http://tfl.nu/qdth
  Replies (6) Good night (4759) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm http://tfl.nu/d06d
  Replies (13) Good night (2243) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming... http://tfl.nu/2o49
  Replies (21) Good night (1896) Bad night (2924)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary. http://tfl.nu/v8si
  Replies (2) Good night (1273) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night. http://tfl.nu/mrb2
  Replies (5) Good night (1663) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over. http://tfl.nu/eihc
  Replies (3) Good night (935) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas! http://tfl.nu/asvm
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work? http://tfl.nu/hj1o
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out http://tfl.nu/3o9i
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (249)

Randomize