Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night