Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..

  (1-650): View more from California

  You've kissed worse.

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  (650): Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms.. (1-650): You've kissed worse. http://tfl.nu/wvey
  Replies (3) Good night (2467) Bad night (697)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food

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  (720): Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food http://tfl.nu/f7o2
  Replies (121) Good night (7728) Bad night (1785)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

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  (734): turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis http://tfl.nu/zgff
  Replies (64) Good night (8127) Bad night (893)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.

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  (443): Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere. http://tfl.nu/ui38
  Replies (20) Good night (1435) Bad night (3843)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??

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  (304): Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away?? http://tfl.nu/5x5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1756) Bad night (1239)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.

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  (240): she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes. http://tfl.nu/9p5u
  Replies (10) Good night (1428) Bad night (947)
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  (760): View more from California

  You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.

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  (760): You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face. http://tfl.nu/v2nt
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (539)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?

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  (+44): are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper? http://tfl.nu/40vp
  Replies (3) Good night (954) Bad night (399)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Did you at least offer to let him get it out??

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  (901): I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment. (662): Did you at least offer to let him get it out?? http://tfl.nu/gv0l
  Replies (4) Good night (922) Bad night (492)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth

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  (425): Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth http://tfl.nu/nsaq
  Replies (3) Good night (351) Bad night (568)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already

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  (303): He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already http://tfl.nu/7hnl
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (502)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.

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  (814): i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy. http://tfl.nu/h82b
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (310)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'

  (406): View more from Montana

  I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

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  (307): Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina' (406): I AM SO PROUD OF YOU http://tfl.nu/0zsn
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (337)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me

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  (337): You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me http://tfl.nu/vlf7
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (256)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.

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  (307): I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions. http://tfl.nu/x610
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (193)

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