Fuck appropriateness.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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