do herpes really smell.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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