do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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