Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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