no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
